Let’s start with the facts – you are good enough! But do you ever find yourself using “I’m not enough” as an excuse? You might be surprised at how many of us do!
For over 25 years now, I’ve been working in organisations – small, medium and large – and I spend a great deal of my time working with CEOs and leadership teams. In that process, what has struck me time and time again is it doesn’t seem to really matter why I’m coaching someone, and it doesn’t matter what someone comes in with, what’s fascinating to me is what happens once we start peeling away all the onion layers, all the different emotions that people have and reasons that they might have come to me to have a conversation or to work with them in a coaching capacity.
Inevitably what we get to when we get to the core of the onion for every single human I work with is some kind of feeling of, “I’m not good enough. I don’t know if I’m worthy to be on this planet. Was it an accident that I’m here?” Questions about their very existence and whether or not they’re worthy to exist.
That’s what it really comes down to. Every single one of us at some level, in some way, in some form have that feeling. Here’s the part we don’t understand – we think it’s just us. We think we’re the only one who feels inadequate. We think we are the only person who feels like they’re not good enough. We think it’s only us that doesn’t believe our skills are the right ones. We think we’re the only who feels, “It should be someone else stepping up to do that thing, not me.”
The thing is, it’s not just us, it’s pretty much everyone around us that is having a similar kind of feeling, and unless you start to do the work to pull back the layers and really understand what’s going on for you, it will hold you back.
For most people, when I speak with them about how they really feel, what they want to do, what they’re passionate about, or what they would like to achieve in their life, they always feel as though something is blocking them, and inevitably they realise it’s this belief of, “I’m not enough” that is holding them back.
Recognise that when you feel held back by this, that’s just an excuse. “I’m not good enough” is simply a feeling. It’s just a perception. It’s something we’ve made up in our head.
So why do we do it?
One of the reasons we make it up is because it gets us off the hook of leaning into who we are. It gets us off the hook of following our passion. It means that we get to chill out, sit back and do what we think we’re programmed to do instead of learning in, stepping forward, stepping up and becoming everything that we can be.
It’s a hard one to argue with. If that’s how you feel about yourself, then that’s how you feel about yourself. But what we know about any of our excuses is that they are simply beliefs that we have chosen, and that we can also replace them with new beliefs or different beliefs, or more constructive beliefs.
You are good enough and I want you to start thinking about what excuses you are making for not being you?
What excuses are you actually making for not leaning into everything that you could be as a human being? What excuses are you actually making for trying to pretend as though you’re some kind of strange accident? There are no excuses that are adequate enough to explain that.
If you’ve never seen it, there’s a fantastic YouTube clip that goes through all of the statistical chances that we could ever be born on this planet. It literally goes through the statistical odds of your mother meeting your father. The statistical odds of them falling pregnant with you right at that precise point in time, which meant you were you and not somebody else. The statistical odds of you then having met other people in your world that have taken you on your life’s journey. Now, if you’re a betting person, you would never ever bet that it was possible that any of that was chance because statistically, it’s so incredibly unlikely. So what that tells me is that we are here for a reason.
We are here for a purpose. We are here for some kind of plan. Most of us don’t know what it is, most of us are blissfully unaware. That’s okay. But we are here for some kind of reason or purpose.
We can choose to shift away from this belief of, “I’m not good enough” and start embracing a belief of, “You know what, I am good enough.
These are things I’m pretty jolly good at, these things I still want to learn more about, but I’m just accepting myself as I am, and I’m learning to like myself, I’m learning to love myself and I’m learning to lean into the direction of me that I want to become.”
It’s so important for people to feel as though they can work through this process. What happens in organisations all the time is organisations can stifle that process. They can construct structures and they construct processes and policies, and other things that are done with good intent (because you have to pass accreditation or you have to be able to achieve this or that), but a lot of those things often block the individuals capability to truly become themselves.
It’s time we start healing beliefs like, “I’m not good enough.” It’s time to make a measurable impact and increase and improvement in our organisational cultures, whether you’re a small organisation, a medium one or large one. We can draw the connection between healing people and helping people reshape their beliefs, so that it helps not only the individual, but the team and the organisation.
If you haven’t yet, you can start by joining our FREE Superhuman Summit group. There are 50 incredible speakers, you can listen to them while you’re running or you’re walking or cooking dinner. We cover a big range of topic areas from leadership and businesses focused right through to spirituality so that it’s a really holistic approach. These speakers were so incredibly generous to share their time with us and you’ll get so much out of hearing from them.
We’d love to see you in there and if you have any questions at all about methods to change mindset, please reach out to me today and let’s have a conversation!